Dyspeptalk #4.

If I had to fall in love, I wish I could fall in love when love was a lot simpler.

In May, we got cards to the wedding of my cousin, and I wondered how two people could be such strangers to each other one day, and be in everlasting love the next.

I wish I could fall in love the year a bomb went down in London.

That year I met a girl at my tuition with long hair and slightly mismatched pair of front teeth. She wore orange frequently, and carried a sequin studded bag to class when it was about to rain and the sky was silver outside.
Our hands never touched, but we looked at each other and smiled when there was load shedding and the entire area was dipped in darkness all of a sudden.

I question myself how we both knew we were smiling at each other even when we couldn’t see, but love is probably more to be felt than touched with.

Along the way of growing old, our love matured in meanings that were too alien for our 20 year old sensibilities.

Measures of love ran in words and rhymes, and simple things never sufficed anymore.

As the guava tree in our backyard grew every passing year, my fear of love spread branches and roots amidst my heart.

There was news, of a friend whose boyfriend had got her pregnant and ran off, and now she was about to birth a child into this world and teach her how every lover who promises you of growing old together only ends up terminating your 18 year old puberty ridden youth with the screams of a newborn that would have no name.

I questioned her if this is indeed the right world to bring her baby into, but she said she loved her, as she had loved him, and I couldn’t figure out which of it was logical and how much.

I knew of houses devoid of blades and needles and poison because a heartbreak had left people dead within long back.
I knew of eyes that had cooked themselves in their own hot tears till they could see no more.

I wish I could love when love was more melodramatic, when people told you when they loved you, and passed beside you unknowingly in marketplaces when they didn’t.

I need a love that would grow between lonely strangers, and make me and you, feel.”



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