Dyspeptalk #6.

“Before we greet the summer where we’ll have forgotten each other’s names and I wouldn’t remember how your wet hair smelt on a stormy day and you wouldn’t care how long a road I had to walk to see you smile, I want you to know that loving you wasn’t as bad as everyone told me it’d be.

I want you to know that we fell in love with each other head first, and that it probably broke both of our hearts, but I’d do it a thousand times over, and get hurt as many times as you could.

We would never have lasted.
And now I’m jealous of every couple who order cakes for their anniversary when I’m eating sugar puffs because they remind me of you.

I cried when you weren’t looking and didn’t talk when I was sad, and you didn’t look at me when you were angry and danced when it rained.

And for that moment when I had my head against the bed sheet that was still warm from your touch and the sunlight from your window streamed against my thoughts, I could hear you pissing in the toilet and I knew I’d always love you the same way.

When we will be strangers all over again and we’ll instinctively avoid running into each other because some meeting are best when they never happen, I’d still miss your family, and I know you’d miss not knowing about mine.

There will be times when I’ll be too broken and you’ll be too drunk, and we’ll think for that second how much we need each other again, but some fires burn your body out from your head.

Before the last ice cream you scooped up melts and I get caught in a storm that rips apart my umbrella, I want you to know I’m not looking for a love that’ll make me less empathetic about myself.

I want you to know, I don’t want to fall in love because I’m lonely.



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