Dyspeptalk #16

I.

I am a name. I am also the person. I am the institution. I am also the cadre. I am the face you’ve known since you knew how to remember faces. I am also the face you’ll remember when you don’t know any other faces.
I am the dictation of your daily freedom. I am also the freedom from your daily dictation.
I am the immortal being behind your mortal society. I am also the mortal society behind your immortal being.
I am the tangible amongst your perceptions. I am also your perceptions behind the tangible.

I have.

I have lived a thousand years and shall live a thousand more.
I have stood the oily shores with predators that hunt for food and men who hunt for good.
I have strolled the roads with pimples of gravel before they became highways.
I have controlled your vitamins and regulated your carotene intake.
I have sipped your coffee when you weren’t looking and ate your sandwich before you could put the butter on it.
I have taken your life and filled your void with crassnecks and reality shows.
I have spent nights lying under your bed, hearing you breath and mutter and cry out in your sleep.

I have seen.

I have seen all there is to see.
I have seen the submission in mankind.
I have seen them embrace their inequality like inevitable monsoon rains.
I have seen them come out of closets and crawl out off the deep abyss of self-pity.
I have seen liberty and integrity, they were both type of jeans at a showroom.
I have seen sighs of dissatisfaction rolling the winds but no one to achieve them.

I have seen you.

I have seen your cowardice when asked to wear the dress you like, to parties.
I have seen your most private lovemaking.
I have seen your fetishes. I have seen your embarrassment when they pinch your fat and kick your face.
I have seen you ironing your dirty laundry.
I have seen you hide your secret stash of cigarettes and secret stack of DVDs.
I have seen your toddler tears.
I have seen your senior citizen drool.
I have seen every aspect of your life, that you know nothing about, yet.

I have seen you live.

I have seen you live your life of fear.
I have seen you live a life of checking phone lines and television networks because you know I am watching.
I have seen you live out your paranoia, feed it with your nightmares, nurture it with fidgety attempts to hide like a mouse in an empty house.
I have seen you live under shadows, trying somehow to evade me, to evade all the prying eyes that look at you.
I have seen you live amongst trust issues and disbelief.
I have seen you live in your own insecurities, hiding your honesty under buttoned silk shirts on discount.

I have seen you live your life.

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