Dyspeptalk #21.

“The only thing we know for sure is that no matter how hard you try, our plans are going to fail one too many times.

It could be that striped tee you had imagined yourself wearing on your date, and she’d have looked up and she’d have said,

this looks good on you

, and you’d say,

I’m glad.

But that never happened.

The tee shirt was probably sold a day before you finally got all the money together to buy it, or you tried it on and it was one size too small.
And whether you left it on the floor of the trial room in disgust, or bought it out of a desperation only to realise you’ll never wear it after you reached home, your heart irreversibly broke a little in that moment.

And someday, it’ll happen to you again.

Maybe your relationship never worked out, and you remain standing there thinking of a proper reply to her saying

it’s not working out

, and in that moment there’s nothing else to be said really.
You could tell her you had planned to show her your bare hairy chest one day, place her hand on your skin and tell her

you didn’t know how it worked underneath but it hurt a bit every time she cried

.

You could tell her

you had planned to elope with her.

Or just wake up next to her one morning realizing you’ve never loved as you are doing this moment.

But now she’s standing in front of you expecting a reply and it’ll be

I hope you are happier now.

It’ll always be

I hope you are happier now.

The only thing we know for sure is that our plans are going to fail one too many times.

Even worse, when you’re lying there looking up at the ceiling wondering what went wrong,

you’ll realize you don’t have anything to wear to the date anymore.

image

Art by Wasted Rita.

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